I am headed toward a major meltdown. Every little thing annoys me and things that would normally annoy me make me angry. And, of course, there is the reappearance of “sensory overload”. Anything other than complete silence strains my patience and I have found myself covering my ears and closing my eyes quite a bit in the past few days.

For those of you who don’t understand what I mean by “sensory overload”, I will explain it to you. I am positive I am not the only person with bipolar disorder who goes through this. Do you know how it feels when something is way too loud and you just can’t take it? Imagine the television or radio being full blast or someone screaming at the top of their lungs. Your first instinct is to cover your ears. Now…imagine that even the slightest bit of noise sounds like someone banging drums and clashing cymbals in your ears. It’s as if your sense of hearing is amplified and everything is too much. If there are several sounds going at once, everything jumbles together and you can’t understand any of it. It’s like having someone scream something different in each ear. You have to block it out.

Now think about coming out of a dark room into a brightly lit room. It hurts your eyes and instinctively you close or squint your eyes. Imagine what it would be like to be on an out of control merry-go-round with the entire world whirling around you at such a high rate of speed that everything is a blur. Add the two of those together and you will understand the other half of sensory overload.

Imagine experiencing both of these things at the same time. The only way to get it to stop is to cover your ears and close your eyes and try to block out the entire world. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can’t. It’s unbearable and you just want to remove yourself from the world. Even the thoughts in your mind are way too loud.

I have a pair of headphones like they used at firing ranges. Yes, I look quite funny wearing them but sometimes it’s necessary. A therapist I saw years ago said, “You know, they make earplugs and people can’t see them.” I know that, but they don’t block out as much noise as my headphones.

Once you begin experiencing sensory overload, it can be triggered by pretty much anything. Stress, anxiety, fear, anger and more than one sound at a time can set me off. If several people start talking at once, I can’t understand any of it. It’s as if my brain cannot process it and it needs to shut down and reboot. If the noise doesn’t stop, everything around me starts to whirl around until it becomes a complete blur and the only way to get it to stop is to remove myself from everything. No sight, no sound. If I can’t have silence for a minute, it will usually lead to anger. I will yell and scream at anyone who isn’t quiet and will quickly become enraged or completely shut down as if I am in my own little world. Anger is more common, though.

Removing myself from the situation isn’t always possible. I have four kids, three cats, two dogs and a husband (which could easily pass for a fifth child). Sometimes I have to disappear into the bathroom for a few minutes or find a quiet corner in the house.

If you know someone who has bipolar disorder and experiences sensory overload, learn to pick up on the cues and give them some peace and quiet for a few minutes so that they can calm down. If you experience sensory overload, I would love to hear how you handle it.

Related posts:

1. All About Bipolar: Various Emotions in a Short Time

2. All About Bipolar: Dealing with sadness?
3. All About Bipolar: Making adjustments
4. All About Bipolar: What it’s like
5. All About Bipolar: Living With a Bipolar Spouse