August 27th, 2009 
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Agoraphobia bites!
I just love trips to the doctor. Actually, I love my doctor. I just don’t like the trip. Agoraphobia really does bite.
I always look forward to being weighed. (Ha!) Actually, it’s not that I am big-I am big for me. I know that doesn’t make sense so I will explain it. I weighed 97 pounds before I had my first child. A few months after I gave birth, I was back to 97 pounds. After my second child, I did the same thing. I went up to 103 with my third child and 112 with my fourth. Yes, I was still really tiny but that 15 pounds felt like a lot. After going on meds, I went up to 123 and stayed there for a couple of years. Then I gained up to 132. It kept climbing until I reached 145. Do you have any idea what it is like to go from weighing barely 100 pounds all of your adult life to that? I was carrying around 30 + pounds more than what I was used to and my body really felt it. Well, I now weigh 138 pounds. 7 pounds is a big deal. Despite my meds, I am starting to lose some of what they caused me to gain. Yippee!
I went to see my doctor because I needed to change the dose of my medication. I am currently taking 200 mg of Lamictal a day and I needed something more since I am beginning to have some issues with anger and psychosis. My doctor said he really didn’t want to go over that so he added a medication-Seroquel. (I know that I just wrote an article the other day about a lawsuit over Seroquel. Nice.) Regardless, I am willing to try it because I trust my doctor and he knows me better than some of my own family.
Allergies-living in the country is nice and I could never live in a big city, but boy does it do a number on your sinuses. My doctor prescribed Nasonex to help with that. As long as I have been going to the doctor there I have always had a sinus issue when I had an appointment. I have always said it was something I could deal with and left it at that. My doc talked me into trying it.
I never really complain about anything but I did have a complaint today. My left arm has been bothersome lately. I have this burning sensation that starts in my armpit and goes down to my elbow. If my arm is at my side, I feel pressure and it’s aggravating. If I raise my arm, the sensation shifts into my shoulder. (The only reason why I mentioned it was because it interferes with my typing at times. lol)Well, it turns out that I have a pinched nerve. He decided to give me an anti-inflammatory to see if that helps. He says a steroid can put you on edge and he would prefer to get me stable again before adding in anything that would make things worse for me. That’s why I like my doctor.
I had my Xanax refilled and was in and out of the office in less than an hour. My doctor tries to hurry things along because he knows it is literally painful for me to sit in the waiting room. He did commend me for coming in now rather than waiting until I had to be drug in by family because I become suicidal–again. Progress, right? I think so.
Anyway, I am taking the rest of the day off because the act of leaving the house has really wiped me out. Have a great day!
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