September 9th, 2009 
admin Suicide Prevention Week: Approximately 5.7 million Americans suffer from bipolar disorder. 25 to 50% of patients will attempt suicide and around 20% will commit suicide.
There are signs that you should look for if you suspect that a friend or loved one may be suicidal:
- Talking about suicide or ways to commit suicide
- expressed anger about their lives or current situation
- withdrawing from family, friends, and activities
- High risk behavior; not caring about their own safety
- increase in substance abuse or change in vices
- severe mood swings
- expressed feelings of hopelessness
- researching ways to commit suicide
- a sudden desire to give away prized possessions
- a sudden increase in calling or visiting loved ones or friends
- a sudden calmness or happiness after appearing distraught
- a recent change or increase in antidepressant medication
If someone you know exhibits one or more of these warning signs, take them seriously and take action because it could mean the difference between life and death.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a free 24-hour hotline for anyone who is suicidal or in emotional distress. All calls are confidential. You can also download Lifeline cards to print and distribute to those who may be contemplating suicide. You can find information on suicide warning signs and prevention at http://www.save.org .
Speaking on a personal note, there are things that you should say and things you should never say to a person that you suspect is suicidal. Here are a few things to avoid:
- You have so much to live for.
- Nothing can be that bad.
- Snap out of it.
While you may think these phrases are helpful, they can often do more harm than good. It simply proves that you have no understanding of what the person is experiencing.
If you are dealing with a person who has a mental illness such as bipolar disorder, encourage them to seek treatment or have their current treatment regimen changed.
I would also like to add my old Do’s and Don’ts list for helping someone with bipolar disorder or other mental illnesses:
Do: Gently nudge us to resume normal activity and undertake everyday tasks.
Don’t: Keep pushing when I insist that I can’t do something.
Sometimes we do need a little push in the right direction, but be careful not to push too hard. If they are insistent that they can’t or don’t want to do something, then it is best to stop pushing the issue. It is very easy to make someone feel incompetent and it can serve to lower self esteem rather than bolster it.
Do: Offer to listen.
Don’t: Drill us with questions.
Sometimes we want to talk. Sometimes we don’t. We may want to talk about certain things and sometimes we don’t. It’s hard to tell. Lend an ear and let them know you are there to listen. Keep the advice to a minimum but reassure the person that you are there if they need someone to talk to.
Do: Let us know if you don’t really understand our illness.
Don’t: Tell someone it is all in their head or to get over it.
I know this is the quickest way to make me angry. I am sure I am not alone in this. It’ okay if you don’t understand and you want to know more. It is not okay for you to assume someone can make themselves better with sheer will power. It is an illness that requires medication much like many other illnesses. It cannot be treated any other way. It is no different than needing medication to regulate insulin, for example. Our medications regulate chemicals in the brain.
Do: Tell me it upsets you when I have a manic or depressive episode.
Don’t: Tell me you don’t like me when I have an episode or you don’t like the way I am.
I want to know how my episodes affect those close to me. I do not want you to mistake my illness for me and tell me you don’t like me. When you say you don’t like me or the way I am, that is exactly what you are doing. I can’t help the way I am when I have an episode. If you tell me that it upsets you to see me in a depressed or manic state, then I will be more likely to seek help because I don’t feel like I am being attacked and I don’t feel like I have to defend myself.
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